I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Pants are for mortals
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
