Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
