I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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