I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
