were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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