I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
where are you?
Hypothermia
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
