Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Randomize
