my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
