Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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