Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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