Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize