My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
