Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Randomize
