I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
