every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
Randomize
