The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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