my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
