remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Randomize
