tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
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Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
I see more hoeing in ur future
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