I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I got inside last night via doggy door
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
