he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Randomize
