i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
