So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Randomize
