just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
