there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
