She said her name was "party"
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
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