Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
It's shark week go big or go home
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
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