fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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