Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
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