Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize