i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Randomize