They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
