the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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