I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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