the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
