Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Randomize
