so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
