Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Randomize
