found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Randomize
