But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
