Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
