Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
