Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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