I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
that's an acceptable place to lick
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
