Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
