I feel like I'm in dance class right now
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
