Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
