I'm lost and stupid without you.
she smelled like a LAN party
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
