For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
