my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Randomize
