dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Houston, we have a squirter
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Randomize
