He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Randomize
