"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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