he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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